Reasons why I am awesome
I once saved a bunch of orphans from a fire. Then I found them all homes with rich white people. Then they murdered their adopted families for the inheritance. That last part was not my idea, but before most of them were sent to prison, they gave me a cut of their "winnings". As a result, my mattress is filled with cash. It is not as comfortable as you might think, but I am so full of awesome that it feels like I am sleeping on a cloud ... which I also did once, it was back in the 90's.
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